chicken pox day three

temp: 37.8
number of pox: as many as the stars in the sky (countless in other words)

i gave up hope of staying awake to do something more useful. the chicken pox is just darn irritating. don't know why my temp is up again. it was alright this morning till i took a nap just now.

gonna wait till 8 plus to take the last round of medication for today and head to bed.

i guess the agony that Apostle Paul had in his physical body is way much more than me right now. but still, he continued to find joy in preaching the gospel. how can a person find such joy in the midst of such great physical suffering?

a friend asked me what is a christian's purpose in life. we all can say living for God's glory is our purpose, but how many of us are living such a life? but we see that there are some people who are able to do it - why can they do so, and why can't we do so? as i was pondering, i guess this is the only answer that i have: God is not as real to us, as compared to people like Apostle Paul.

it is the real-ness of a girlfriend or boyfriend that makes it easy to transmit our affections and love towards that person. we can give a gift, a hug, or a kiss, to communicate the different affections to that person. not just that, we can receive in tangible ways the affections that the other person gives to us.

then comes the argument whereby, if God is not real to a person, then why did he or she become a christian? i guess God can be real to us at specific points of time in our life, but as the days go by, so of us are wooed by the things of the world, that we begin to lose sight of the real-ness of God. not just that, sin also hinders us from experiencing the real-ness of God, for He is Holy, and hate sin.

my aim is not to try to provide infallible answers to the deep questions of our faith; i am the same as everyone, human: man can never ever comprehend God's ways. but consider this dear reader, a relationship is built by spending time with another person. i consider a relationship with God the main aim of my life right now. but this cannot be built just by knowing the answers to the many questions that we have. we may fall into the trap of being like Job's friends, who talked a lot about God, but they never knew really knew Him. or the Pharisees, who blabber on day and night about the law, but were blind to the presence of the Messiah.

i'm not suggesting that we don't read the bible or christian books. let us not read the bible for the sake of knowledge, but let us read the bible for the sake of intimacy; like how a husband (or wife) flips through the old photos of his wife (or her husband), to discover more about who the other person really is.